My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
