well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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