U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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