The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
