Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
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