I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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