Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
