I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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