There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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