Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
