i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
