Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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