And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
