We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
