I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't put those talents on a resume
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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