Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
