that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
