Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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