hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
