how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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