My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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