I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
