very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
