another moral hangover. fuck.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
