Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
