and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
