i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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