so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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