She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
