He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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