I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
