Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
