forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
