Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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