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cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm at about main and main street
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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