Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
