Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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