I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
