fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
