i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
