fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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