sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
