i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
