i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
