That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
