update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
