My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
