Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
