Sry I called you an 8
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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