and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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